Confused in Love Four (Part 7)

By: Akhi Ryu Go

The Wedding

Cherry: Akhi... Hey Akhi!

Akhi: *startled* Bessy? Bakit?

Cherry: Nag de-day dream ka nanaman jan.

Akhi: Sorry. Anyway, why are you all dressed up? Parang aattend ka ng kasal?

Cherry: Are you kidding me? This is an important day. You're looking pretty good yourself. You've cleaned up so well. You look good in that tuxedo.

Akhi: Ha?

Then I looked at myself and I am wearing a tux.

Akhi: What's going on?

I looked around and I can see our friends and families on both sides of the crowd divided by an isle. I looked in front of me and there Harold is standing but I'm thoroughly confused as to why he's dressed up like a priest.

Akhi: Anung trip yan Harold?

Harold: Shhhhh... Focus Akhi. This is a happy day.

Akhi: Huh?

I looked around and everything is well decorated and it looks like we're in a wedding of some sort. Then someone tapped on my shoulder. I looked back and it was Gab.

Gab: Hey there. Just relax. You're gonna be okay babe.

He looks so magnificent.

Akhi: Gab? What's going on?

Gab: You've lost yourself again. *chuckle* It's our wedding day silly!

Akhi: Oh! Sorry. I'm just a little occupied.

Gab: Now now, it's about to start.

Harold gave a speech and then read the vows.

Harold: Akhi, do you take Gab to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?

Akhi: I do.

Harold: Gab, do you take Akhi to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?

He flashed that gorgeous smile at me and then squeezed my hand.

Gab: I can't... I can't do that.

Everyone is in shock.

Akhi: Gab? What are you doing?

I looked around and everyone is crying tears of blood. Na shock ako. Paglingon ko wala na si Gab sa tabi ko. I look in the priest direction pero wala na si Harold. Instead, there's a coffin and Gab is inside of it. I feel really frightened. I looked back at the crowd and they all look like dead people. Sobrang nakakatakot ang mga itsura nila and they're eyes are fixed in my direction, itim na itim ang mga mata, sobrang putla ng mukha at lumuluha't sumusuka ng dugo. I screamed with all my might and I ducked and covered my head. Suddenly, tumahimik ang paligid. I looked up and once again, Gab is in front of me. I stood up and when I looked at the crowd, nobody's there. Dalawa lang kami ni Gab.

Akhi: Gab this is frightening! What just happened.

Gab: *sigh* Akhi... There's nothing more I've ever wanted but this and I know very well that you do too.

I remained silent and listened intently.

Gab: Take a step forward in your life. You saw those people. It's a reflection of how you're becoming.

Akhi: And what is that?

Gab: By heart, you've become a dead person. Bleeding and bleeding in pain and misery. You've shut everyone out and not allowing yourself to find love anymore.

When I heard that I realized instantly that I am once again dreaming.

Akhi: *crying* I told you many times over Gab, I'm not ready to let you go!

Gab: *sigh* Akhi, for living like this, you're as good as dead.

Umiyak nalang ako because I realize he's never going to stop convincing me. Then he hugged me.

Gab: Akhi, you never lost me. I am always with you. In your heart. Even if you find a new love I'll be with you every step of the way. So don't deprive yourself.

Akhi: Thanks Gab. I miss you so much!

Gab: I miss you too Akhi.

Nagtataka ako kung bakit garalgal ang boses nya. When I looked up at him he looked like a zombie! And he's rotting away! Napaatras ako sa takot and his body fell to the ground and I screamed!

Akhi: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

Napabalikwas ako. Nakakatakot talaga ang panaginip ko. I looked at the clock and it was still 4:30 am at madilim pa. Nabalot ako ng takot kaya tumakbo ako papunta sa dati kong higaan kung saan natutulog si Rocel ngayon.

Akhi: Ross!!! Tabi muna tayo please??

Nakatalukbong si Rocel so I pulled the blanket but nagulat ako sa nakita ko! It was a rotting corpse! Then someone knocked on the window at nung nilingon ko there's dead people trying to break in!

Akhi: Aaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Then I woke up again. I looked at the clock and it was 4:30am and I am once again in Gab's bed. Rocel's hand is on my waist. I sighed of relief at nilingon ko sya only to see Gab right behind me and rotting!

Akhi: Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Napabalikwas ako ng gising sa sobrang takot. Rocel woke up and saw that I was trembling.

Rocel: Ugh! What happened?

Akhi: I had a nightmare! Huhuhu

Rocel: *sigh* Sige halika dito. tabi muna tayo. Matulog ka na.

Then she went back to sleep. I shut my eyes tightly trying to fall asleep again and I whispered

Akhi: Gab please don't scare me like that. Even if you keep doing that to me, I still can't let go of my feelings so don't do that ever again.

I know right? I am going crazy. Talking as if he was still alive. Anyway minutes later I finally fell asleep.

---

*Riiiiinnnnnngggggg*

I woke up to the sound of my phone. May tumatawag. Kahit antok pa ako I answered it.

Akhi: Hello?

Cherry: Hey bessy. Kagigising mo lang ba? Sorry to wake you up.

Akhi: Ayos lang. It's already 7:30am anyway. Bakit napatawag ka?

Cherry: Well you know, I just think kailangan mo namang lumabas paminsan so I was planning na isama ka sa wedding ng anak ng business partner ni James.

Akhi: Ugh... I don't know about that...

Cherry: Oh come on bessy!!! All you've been doing is work and then home at paulit ulit nalang. We never get a chance to go out anymore.

Akhi: Bessy, what do you expect? Magpakasaya ako? Mag party party?

Cherry: Exactly!

Akhi: *sigh*

Cherry: look, hindi porkit you're gonna start to live your life again eh kakalimutan mo na si Gab. It's been a year. Somehow give yourself a chance to be happy naman. Kahit man lang sa ganitong bagay and besides, that wedding is gonna be grand! So many bigwigs are going to attend at super bongga. I'm sure mag eenjoy ka. Please bessy? Pretty please?

Akhi: *sigh* kung hindi lang kita BFF eh hindi ako sasama. Sige na. What time are you guys gonna pick me up?

Cherry: In about an hour and a half.

Akhi: Okay see you then.

Cherry: Sweet! Just remember, dress to impress!

Akhi: Yeah yeah! There's no one else to impress.

Then I hung up.

After that I did my morning routine and had breakfast, took a bath and then picked up something to wear. Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko but I really wanted to wear something from Gab's wardrobe. Yep! We never returned or burned or gave away his stuff because I requested it. I looked through his clothes and found something formal. Masyadong maluwag saakin ang damit nya, but I wore them anyway at ginawan ko nalang ng paraan para lang magkasya. I finished just in time that Cherry and James came to pick me up. Paglabas ko ng kwarto nakabihis din pala si Rocel at napatingin sya sa suot ko. She jumped because she was startled.

Rocel: My gosh Akhi! You scared me to death!

Akhi: Huh?

Rocel: You're wearing Gab's favorite outfit? Akala ko si Gab ka. Oops... Sorry...

Akhi: No it's okay. Anyway I wanted to wear this. It smells good. Smells like his perfume.

Rocel: Did I mention it looks too loose on you?

Akhi: Well I don't really care Ross.

Rocel: *sigh* Okay if that's what you want. Tara na at naghihintay na sa labas sila James.

Paglabas namin nang bahay Cherry stared at me and had a dissapointed look on her face.

Cherry: Bessy, ang sabi ko "dress to impress" Not "dress as depressed".

Akhi: Okay, you know what? You guys need to quit complaining. It's either you be okay with my outfit or you get to go by yourselves.

Cherry: Nevermind. *rolls her eyes* come on you guys we can't be late for this.

At ayun nga pumasok na kami sa sasakyan and we're on the way to the wedding.

---

We arrived at venue and I must say the place is divine! The decoration, the people and everything you can see looks so expensive. As we took a seat, there goes the wedding entourage. Habang nagsisimula ang kasal at busy na busy sila Rocel sa panunuod hindi ko naman maiwasang marinig ang chismisan ng dalawang babaeng katabi ko.

Chismosa 1: nako... Napakagwapo talaga ni Richard ano? Bagay na bagay sila ni Lorraine.

Chismosa 2: kung alam mo lang mare. Hindi mahal nung groom yung bride.

Chismosa 1: Paano mo naman nalaman?

Chismosa 2: Hello? I work for their company and I see them like literally every single day.

Chismosa 1: O tapos?

Chismosa 2: They don't even talk much. Kapag nag didinner silang magkasama halos walang imik.

As I've heard their conversation I was thinking to myself, how could someone marry without love?

Chismosa 2: Word has it, they did it to save their company.

Chismosa 1: Iba naman ang narinig ko. Ang sabi, buntis daw yung babae and to avoid scandal, ipapakasal nila si Richard kay Lorraine in exchange for a huge favor. Like this is just a "beneficial wedding". Pero bali balita, gawa gawa lang daw nung babae ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis nya. It's fake!

The priest is now reading the vows.

Priest: Lorraine, do you take Richard to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?

Lorraine: I do.

Chismosa 2: Ang alam ko rin, Richard really disagrees to this. Pero nga kase sunud sunuran din sya kaya ayun wala syang magawa.

Chismosa 1: Oo sabi ng isang friend ko he drives for miles just to have a drink in a bar sa ibang city and he gets drunk all the time. As in he looks like he's so miserable everytime and he never entertains anyone who tries to join him. Ngayon alam ko na ito siguro ang dahilan kung bakit ganoon.

Chismosa 2: Kawawa naman sya hindi ba? Itong si Lorraine? Nako mare I'm telling you. Napaka sama ng ugali. One time nakita ko sila habang nagshoshopping sa mall nag inarte ang ate mo at ibinato ang shoes na sinusukat nya na pinili ni Richard.

Chismosa 1: Bakit naman?

Chismosa 2: Eh kase, ang pangit daw at mumurahin. Nako it was like one of the most expensive stores ng sapatos doon.

Chismosa 1: Grabe naman!

Chismosa 2: Eto pa! They were having dinner one time, Richard gave her a gift. Hindi nagustuhan ng ate mo, ayun! Binuhusan ng tubig sa mukha si Richard then nag walkout. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit pa sya nagpupumilit na ikasal sila eh ganun naman nya tratuhin yung lalaki.

Upon hearing that hindi ko alam kung anong sumapi saakin at ako'y biglang nagalit at bigla akong lumakad papunta sa altar. My depression and stress reined over me.

Priest: Richard, do you take Lorraine to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and to honor her all the days of your lif.....

Akhi: Stop this nonsense!

Nagulat lahat ng mga tao sa ginawa ko. Everyone's eyes are fixed on me.

Richard's dad: who the hell is this?

Akhi: I am nobody. But I won't just sit idly knowing that someone is going through a marriage that's gonna make their life miserable! You can't just go through this marriage without loving the other half! Might as well just kill yourself!

Cherry: Bessy anung ginagawa mo?

The groom looked at me at parang nakikinig at naghihintay sya ng susunod kong sasabihin.

James: Oh dear...

Rocel: *murmurs* No way! He didn't!! This is so embarrassing!

Akhi: I have lost someone I love with my whole being. I regret every single mistake that I've done that has put me through this situation.

Rocel: Oh gosh this was a really bad idea Che.

Akhi: isang sitwasyon na hindi ko na kailan man matatakasan. You see, this is what wrong decisions put you through. Yung inakala mo na tama yung ginagawa mo, na akala mo para sa ikabubuti yun pala lalo mong ikasasama!

I told everyone about the time na may sakit si Gab and I lied na pupunta ako kay Cherry to comfort her because she and James had a fight when in reality makikipag kita ako kay Aaron because I thought he was going to discus some important matters about work. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay magpahinga nalang si Gab at wag mag alala. But because of that one simple and innocent mistake, I faced this irreversible consequence. Hindi ko nga lang binanggit mga pangalan.

Lorraine: Richard, don't listen to him! We don't even know this freak!

Cherry: Sh*t anung gagawin ko Ross? Hindi ako pwedeng pumunta doon dahil kasama ko si James... Baka magka problema sila ng business partner nya pag nagkataon. They know me!

Rocel: Don't worry. I've got this.

Richard's dad: Call the security.

Akhi: Follow what your heart is telling you before you do something regrettable and irreversible.

I was looking straight at the groom's eyes.

Bigla akong hinila ni Rocel.

Rocel: Akhi! Tara na! You have to stop! This is not our problem.

She did it para hindi ako abutan ng security at kaladkarin at para narin hindi ako masyadong mapahiya. As she was pulling me away, magkatitigan kami ng groom. Naaawa ako sa kanya. Pero kase unlike me, he has a choice. He can get out of this situation.

Madaling kumuha ng taxi si Rocel and we headed straight home. Back at the wedding, while the parents are doing some crowd control, everybody assumed that the wedding would still go on. When everyone calmed down and after they explained that I was just a random guy who went out on a rant, ipinatuloy parin ng kanilang mga parents ang wedding, but then when the priest was about to read the vow for Richard, he gestures for him to stop.

Priest: What is it? Something you wanna say Richard?

Lorraine: What are you doing Richard?

Richard: Wait... This isn't right.

Lorraine: *murmurs* Richard, I'm warning you. Don't Humiliate me in front of all these people!

Richard turned to face the crowd and looked at everyone. Then he spoke.

Richard: Ladies and gentlemen, friends and families, I thank all of you for getting out of your busy schedules just to witness this life changing event. I want to apologize to everyone...

The crowd murmurs

Richard: I cannot go through this marriage. Hindi ito ang gusto ko para sa sarili ko.

He faced Lorraine

Richard: I'm so sorry Lorraine but I can't do this.

With her teeth clenched, Lorraine slapped Richard hard on the face.

Lorraine: What the hell Richard?! you got us up to this point only to ruin it?!

Richard: I'm really sorry.

Then he faced his family and the bride's family.

Richard: I'm so sorry.

Then he ran away.

---

At home, nakatikim ako ng matinding sermon kay Rocel.

Rocel: What the hell Akhi?! You cannot trespass someone elses life like that especially strangers!

Ako naman ay narealize na mali nga ang ginawa ko. I got so carried away because of all the emotions inside of me.

Akhi: I know. I'm really sorry. I got carried away.

She sighed angrily and arms crossed.

Rocel: Akhi I get that you're still hurting pero pwede ba? Move on move on din! Kase hindi na healthy para sa'yo yang ginagawa mo sarili mo!

After saying that nilayasan na nya ako at naiwan akong nagmumuni muni sa sala. Nakaramdam ako ng matinding kahihiyan remembering the scene that I've caused. So sumandal ako sa sofa at umiyak nalang. Maya maya pa, nakatulog ako.

---

I am all alone sitting on a bench, in a park just eating icecream. I looked at myself at nagulat ako. Bakit wala ang mommy at daddy ko? I started crying like a 9 year old kid... But wait... I am a 9 year old kid. Suddenly, may nakatayo sa harap ko at may dala dalang baloons.

Gab: I must say, I'm so proud of you Akhi.

I looked up and it was Gab.

Akhi: Proud of me? For what?

He gestured for me to give him room to sit and so I did. Pagkaupo nya

Gab: What you did at the wedding today, it was brave of you.

I immediately realized that I am dreaming.

Akhi: *sigh* I don't know kung makakabuti sakin na nakakausap kita in my dreams but anyway, I'm happy. Thank you.

Gab: Soon...

Akhi: Huh?

Gab: Soon Akhi... You will find love... And I'll be with you through it all...

He kissed me in the forehead and then I woke up.

Akhi: Gab?

I looked around and once again nasa sala ako. Remembering my dream, I just smiled and headed to my room to get changed and prepare dinner for everyone.

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